Love with Sarina

Welcome once again to another episode of Decluttering 55 Plus with Michelle Passoff. This is the place to come to join in the conversations that we have with experts, authors, authorities, and geeks about various aspects of life, which we baby boomers would often like to sweep under the carpet, put off another day or forever. If your baffles are confronted by something, it’s clutter. So we bring those topics to the light of day so we can get our questions answered.

sort things out, get in action, and get things done. When you come here, you may find us talking about all kinds of things that can invigorate your life and support you to create a legacy, not a mess. This includes resetting your health, fitness, and food regimens, digital decluttering, preparing a memoir, deciding where to live, what to do next as we age, getting our financial house in order, and legal papers in order, and even pre-planning our final arrangements.

Last but not least, we talk about relationships. Researchers will be the first to tell you that they are as important or even more important than any other aspect of life when it comes to aging well. Today, we’re going to talk about love, a subject that is enough for many people who reach 55 plus to simply roll their eyes back and bark about how they’ve been there, done that, and don’t plan to ever do it again.

Whether you’re discouraged by a bad relationship in the past, have enough of doing your best to create a fire in your heart in the present, or you’ve lost someone and your heart is still broken. We’re here at Decluttering 55 Plus because we believe that it is never too late to love again. That’s why we’ve invited Serena Fezon here today to inspire us to be bold and brave in our 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond when it comes to matters of the heart.

Serena is an award-winning television anchor and reporter with many accolades under her belt, including four Emmys, an International Communication Award, and numerous awards from the Associated Press, the Society of Professional Journalists, and other media organizations. She is active in nonprofits that make a difference in her Florida community. Serena is also a producer and a host of several shows on our own Serena Faison Network, which airs on RHS TV Network.

These include On the Record with Serena Fezon, CEO of 360 and the lighter side of sports. In addition to being a hard-hitting journalist, Serena is a true romantic, which is why she created the shows for RHS TV called Love in America and Dating in America. Let’s chat with Serena and see what she has to say about discovering, rediscovering, igniting and reuniting passion in our lives, regardless of our age. Welcome, Serena, how are you?

Sarina (03:21)

my gosh, Michelle, thank you so much for having me here and what an introduction. I’m so humbled and honored.

Michelle (03:27)

well, it’s really nice to have you here. And this is our first in-studio interview, so I’m glad we can rub shoulders while we chat. What a privilege. So tell me, how did you get from covering very serious topics like crime, very big name stories, ⁓ to…

Sarina (03:44)

Love.

You know, I have to say I have always been in love with love. I have set up nine couples that have gotten married. And I think it’s actually even more than that because now we have social media and you can track people. in college, when I say track, you know what I mean? But in college, I would constantly be setting people up. To answer your question, I did such heart wrenching stories. You know, I went on Death Row. I, the only interview ever.

of a mother killing her own children. I did that story. So when I had the opportunity to come here to RHS TV, I thought, you know, of course I want to do serious journalism as well. Not that love is not serious, but I am in love with love. So why not talk about it? Everybody needs it.

Michelle (04:33)

do you think is the importance of love at any age?

Sarina (04:36)

I think love is like oxygen. It’s air. We need love. And it does not matter what age. You know, there was very interesting studies about babies too who weren’t held or touched and what happened to them as they grew. So I mentioned that because the human spirit…

you need someone to love you and I know there’s different love languages it doesn’t mean you have to be all over the person but on the record I am pretty affectionate. But you really, but people need to know that they are loved and appreciated.

Michelle (05:11)

for the record.

Do you think that love is different when you’re 25 than when you’re 55, 65, and 75? How does it change?

Sarina (05:26)

I absolutely do think it is different. think when you are a younger person and in love, you know, there might be ⁓ more excitement. Not that there can’t be excitement when you’re older. I want to stress that. But maybe a little bit more uncertainty, you know, because you’re younger. As we age, there is so many beautiful experiences in life. You know, I always say life is so beautiful. It can also be difficult. But what it gives you

is experience. So when you meet someone and you’re older, you have experiences that you didn’t have when you were in your 20s or your 30s.

Michelle (06:08)

So it’s a more mature kind of relationship, hopefully, right? That you’ve learned something about yourself or people as you age, that you bring that knowledge into the relationship.

Sarina (06:19)

That is a very good question, Michelle, and I think yes. I think as you get older, you also know more of what you want. So when you’re younger, going back to your question about how love is different, when you’re younger, there’s different, there could be different goals, like, you know, okay, I wanna have children, I want, you know, all those. But I have found when you’re older, relationships can also develop more quickly.

And marriage or ⁓ even if it’s not marriage, a more ⁓ secure relationship can happen faster than it does when you’re younger.

Michelle (06:55)

But what about the resistance? Maybe you’ve been disappointed in your divorce or you’ve lost somebody and you’re aching or you’ve tried before and it didn’t work out. How do you get over as since you’re old, if you’re older, how do you get over your resignation or your resistance to loving again?

Sarina (07:17)

You

have to keep an open mind. You have to constantly give yourself great love talk because it’s very important, remember, you are not going to be loved by someone unless you love yourself.

Michelle (07:35)

That’s a good point. You gotta start with yourself.

Sarina (07:37)

You have

to start with yourself and whether it’s even looking at the mirror every day and even if you don’t believe it and you say you know what I’m great and I deserve to be loved it’s very very important to do that because well you and I were talking about even before the show started even if someone wants the divorce it’s a it’s very difficult very challenging or sadly and I’ve had a lot of friends even my own sister like I stutter over it

has a spouse that passes away. There can be a lot of anger too, you know. So you rely on faith. You have to pull everything to make yourself feel good about you, whether it’s leaning on friendships, when you’re older, leaning on your children. But again, I go back to always your faith too, if you have faith. Going back, you have to start with you.

Michelle (08:34)

So once you start with you and you think about the other, are you just fine? A lot of people are just fine with themselves. They say, I’ll never do that again. Like, ⁓ how do you give that up? How do you even begin to say, I’m going to get out there and make the effort and dream a dream when you’ve been there, done that already?

Sarina (08:53)

would say to people who say that, you know, no way. you know, for lack of a better word, you’re gyping yourself. Come on. Because, and I say that in the most loving way because you don’t, and I tell my 17 year old daughter this, right? You don’t need someone to complete you.

Michelle (09:12)

That’s a good point

not to do it because you need it.

Sarina (09:15)

It’s

not that you need it, but what a joyful journey it is to share it. Yeah to share it so and you know for the people out there who who feel that they can do it and you know I’ve done it before and I don’t want to I would just say just open up your heart because It is such a fun beautiful journey

Michelle (09:19)

is to share.

Yeah, try. Give it a try. So once you’ve given it a try, you say, ⁓ my first bit of clutter is my mentality, so I’m going to ditch those beliefs I have that keep me from loving again. And you get rid of that kind of clutter. And you want to say, okay, I’m going to hop into the marketplace. Where do you go for love these days?

Sarina (10:01)

Okay, so that

is an excellent question because I get this all the time, right? So life has changed so much. I mean, I remember when I first started in journalism, we didn’t have computers or Google and now it’s chat GPT and this and that. We didn’t have that, right? Mostly everything was organic. Now, of course, the social media, there’s so many dating apps out there. I would say…

If you’re older, please don’t shy away from the dating apps. know they’re like, my God, but there’s dating apps that are actually made for everything, you know? Like, you know, for all sorts of things. I still highly believe in organically meeting somebody. And what I would say on that…

Do what you enjoy to do. So if you like to go and have a cup of coffee in the morning and read the paper, read a book, I know people probably don’t read papers anymore, but they do read their phone. You enjoy doing that, do that. You enjoy going to the park and walking your dog, do that. You enjoy going to the bar, having a beer and watching sports, do that. Because when you put yourself, and even if you’re alone, it’s getting out of the box. Because if you do things that you enjoy,

Michelle (11:15)

getting out of the house too.

Sarina (11:17)

gets

you out of the house, but you’re going to attract someone that also likes those same things. And you never know who you can meet.

Michelle (11:27)

And

then there’s the old school, maybe your friends can introduce you to somebody that you know. So explore all kinds of avenues with an intention in mind of attracting somebody who’s just right for you.

Sarina (11:39)

Yes,

especially, I mean personally, I think that is the best way when a friend or someone you know, and if you think about it, when you’re older, it could also be your children who introduce you to somebody. Okay. You know, I have a great story that I would like to share if you don’t mind. So I was, I live in Tampa, Florida, and I was on Davis Islands, which is like a neighborhood.

Michelle (11:57)

Sure, go, this is the place.

Sarina (12:07)

And a lot of people recognize me still. Like, you know, for my shows, I’m very humbled and blessed by that, and also from anchoring the news. So this girl, I was sitting there at a ⁓ table or at the bar, and she came up to me and she said, Serena, you don’t know me, but I know you, and do you mind if I share a story? I said, no, I would love for you to share a story. Her mom, her dad had passed away. And she said, you know, I did not want to see my mom. She loved my dad so much alone.

So she knew a guy who sadly, his mom passed away. And she said, we should get our parents together. So they got together and you know, though that couple is married and they’ve been married now for like, I would say five years at least, but it was so beautiful that the kids and the kids were in their 30s, you know, that, so you never know. guess when the point is, you

Michelle (13:01)

You know, it’s a good point that thought was a positive story about kids, but kids can be ⁓ an element that keeps you from Getting together with somebody. you say something about how if you go into meet somebody and they have a family? What’s the best approach you could have to be embraced by the family because that’s something that can be like a bad

Sarina (13:20)

Yes,

you know what and that I honestly I wish there was a great universal answer for that. I will say this it can be that can be extremely challenging. I do feel we have to try to remember though that they’re kids right and if like say you meet someone and the kids

Michelle (13:41)

You’re

kids, but it could be little kids, but it could be grown kids. Right. the best not accustomed to that extra person.

Sarina (13:50)

The best thing I feel anybody could do is just be true to yourself, but never ever say anything disparaging about the, like I would never say anything disparaging about whether it’s the father or the mother against the spouse. Even if, and believe me, there’s many, many stories I have where one spouse will, you

tell the kids, your father’s awful, your mother’s awful. Keep in mind, the kids too are half of both of the parents, you know? And I know there’s different levels. It could take years for families to meld, and it can be very, very difficult, but that’s the time also that you do lean on your friends or people who are not involved in that core group, because…

People naturally need to vent and you have to step back and look at your relationship with the person that you want to be with. And if it’s a wonderful, healthy relationship, you have to focus on that. And even write things down. You don’t have to share it with anybody.

Michelle (15:01)

There

you go. So what I’m hearing you say about

What I’m hearing you say is from the get-go when you just when you’re there you’re alone you’re older you’re Supposedly more mature know that all along the way you want to keep a positive attitude that it’s so important positive to say I’m gonna get out there be positive about the possibility of Meeting somebody and even if you know my mother always used to say maybe if you meet somebody and you don’t like them They have a friend, you know, so they even have a friend Yeah to stay positive as it relates to the challenges of

just stay positive about possibilities of love as you edge.

Sarina (15:40)

100

% and even if you don’t feel positive, even if you don’t feel it, it is incredible. It’s the clutter, right? It is incredible actually saying something positive about yourself or again, writing it down.

Michelle (15:45)

Trash it.

And not everybody has to be the love of your life. fun. Right, right. So we can talk forever about love and we can ⁓ continue this conversation another time. But for today, we have to wrap it up. So I want to thank you for igniting the story ⁓ and getting us ⁓ revved up for the possibility of going into a new possibility with somebody in your life. Michelle.

Sarina (15:58)

Right.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing to share so much of my passion with you. You’re wonderful.

Michelle (16:27)

Okay, thank you. So I hope everyone out there is ready to spread a little love around today. Why wait? Get inspired and inspire others. So do something today to take action on meeting the man or woman of your dreams. And if you want to tune into Serena’s show on RHS TV, browse through the episodes of On the Record, Love in America, Dating in America, and set your schedule to watch what is coming up. Open your heart to new possibilities. Before we sign off, I want to remind you

that my new book is available. It’s right here by my ⁓ desk, my side here, but it’s Decluttering 55 Plus Wisdoms to Create a Legacy, Not a Mess. It’s a great way to love yourself. It’s a spiral book of illustrations that sits like a tent on your dresser or desk so you can turn it to any page for inspiration to get in action and get things done. Leave it there for a day, a week, a month, and let it keep inspiring you into action. Buy one for yourself, give a copy to everyone in your So Girl Friends.

and family too. You can go to amazon.com or layitflat.com to get a copy. Now go to www.decluttering55plus and click on the let’s connect button to sign up for our messages about what’s up next on our agenda. Become a part of our community and let us know your challenges, your successes, and what else you want to hear from us. Please like us, follow us, subscribe to us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and anywhere you can.

so we can grow this community and spread the word about the resource Decluttering 55 Plus is for all those baby boomers and those who love them. We will see you next week. Thanks for being with us today. Now get out there and spread a little love. Have a clutter-free day.